Ask a Well being Coach: Methods to Cease the Cycle of Overdoing It
Hi folks, in this issue of Ask a Health Coach, Erin is helping her peers with strategies to cope with the hustle and bustle, rethink calories and enjoy the holidays without guilt. Do You Have Questions? Share them in the comments or in our MDA Facebook group.
“I always burn the candle on both ends to make sure everyone is happy this time of year, but I can already tell that I am burning myself. How do I get through the holidays without needing a vacation afterwards?
Overdoing it is my specialty. At least it has been in the past so I totally understand where you’re from. If you’re like me, you have a long history of being highly productive – and wearing a great badge of honor. The more hustle and bustle, the better. The less rest, the better. Even until it burned out completely.
You could do a little bit too People please, which by definition indicates that you have a deep emotional need to please others at the expense of your own needs. For many of my clients, willingness to be satisfied is related to their self-esteem and the need for approval and external validation. And it’s always put to the test during the holidays. By making sure that all dietary needs are met at dinner or the decorations are “just right”, they will feel more worthy, personable, and accepted.
Remember, liking people is not synonymous with being a good host.
To others, it probably just looks like you are genuinely gracious and accommodating – and I have no doubt that you are. But being helpful at the expense of your own health and happiness isn’t a good compromise if you ask me: https://guilfordjournals.com/doi/abs/10.1521/jscp.2012.31.2.169.
If you’ve always felt compelled to put everyone else’s needs before your own, it’s hard to imagine any other way. Since people are not just what you do, it’s a huge part of who you think you are.
Here’s the good news. The fact that you are aware that you are doing these things is a sign that you are open to change. Here are some strategies to get you started right away:
1. Understand what you are and what you are not responsible for. If you are hosting, providing food and conversation is likely your responsibility. However, it isn’t the burden of making sure your guests are happy every second of their visit.
2. Determine your limits and assert yourself. Are you really okay with making four kinds of potatoes or letting people stay later than you wanted? Realize your limits and practice sticking to them. And remember, asserting yourself can be scary at first, but it pays off in the long run.
3. Know that everything will be fine. If 2020 has taught us anything, then the world is a crazy, unpredictable place, and no planning or human effort can potentially ensure a perfect result.
I think when you break free from the rigidity of the hardcore hustle and bustle and enjoyable people, you will begin to experience your own state of flow. You might even enjoy the holidays this year.
“I want to enjoy the vacation without feeling guilty. I’m tired of everyone releasing healthy versions of desserts and drinks. Can’t I just have the original without being ashamed? “
I have a clue that you are reconsidering this a little. Yes, you can absolutely eat what you want. Who is stopping you There are no keto police. And no one is going to draw your paleo card if you indulge in some pecan pie and eggnog.
Eat whatever you want, I don’t care. The problem is, I think you care. Maybe you care what other people think. Or you care about how this affects your goals.
I’m not here to tell you to or not to eat a whole sheet of sugar cookies, I’m just here to help you have a more effortless relationship with food. One where you have a solid understanding of how certain foods may or may not work in your body. That way, you can make decisions that will support you – or will not support you. That’s perfectly fine, too, as long as you are aware of the consequences. This can be anything from sluggishness and fog to pants that don’t fit.
It is always your call.
That said, if someone shames you for your choices, that’s a whole different topic. Food has become so controversial and everyone loves to point a finger at someone who has a different health ideology than they do.
Here’s a note to anyone who is ashamed: if you’ve made a decision to eat more plants, more meat, less sugar, less carbs, no carbs, or all carbs, keep this in mind Everyone is different, and your beliefs don’t have to be smeared all over others. Ok, scold over.
If you are metabolically flexible, indulging in some “real” goodies won’t be a big deal. During the vacation, keep in mind the 80/20 frame for the original lifestyle. While it’s not meant to be used to aid in Cheat Days, it’s about navigating real life.
“I’m thinking of adding a few more workouts each week so I can indulge in holiday treats without affecting my progress. What are your favorite exercises to burn extra calories? “
The diet culture must have done something to us, right? Weighing, calorie counting, macro tracking, step tracking to make sure you set more calories on fire than you used up … it’s just too much. And don’t let me start with the calculators telling you how many sit-ups or jumping jacks or hours of cardio to do to burn off everything you ate.
I’ve had enough of fabricated nutrition and fitness news. It keeps us stuck in the pattern of deprivation, and in all ways, of how we’re not good enough – or worse, how * good * we will be by the time we reach a certain weight or pant size.
So no. I don’t have any calorie burners. And I definitely don’t have any low-calorie diet recipes. What I have is advice on how to get your metabolism going and how to stop worrying about how you are aesthetically showing yourself to the world.
Sounds like a great gift, doesn’t it? Not caring? Are you not planning any additional workouts for the holidays? The nutritional mindset is firmly entrenched in many of us, and one of my goals as a health coach is to help people break free from it. And that starts with three important things:
1. Release the judgment on food. Eating is not good or bad, it only has consequences. Having a few goodies can lead to a sugar spill followed by more cravings. If you’re eating a high protein meal, you may not need to drag it past the candy bowl.
2. Learn to listen to your body. Try to tune in to what your body is telling you: https://www.marksdailyapple.com/whats-messing-with-your-appetite-three-possibilities/. Learn how to identify your body’s hunger and thirst, and how to separate physical hunger from emotional needs like comfort and personal growth.
3. Review your stories and limiting beliefs. Do you think that you are only adorable if you are a certain weight? Or that it is a bad thing to “treat” yourself? Pay attention to the stories you tell yourself and see if you can put them in a more positive light.
Do you have a habit of overdoing it? Do you have any further questions? Share in the comments below.
About the author
Erin Power is the coaching and curriculum director of the Primal Health Coach Institute. She also helps her clients reestablish loving and trusting relationships with their bodies – while restoring their metabolic health so they can lose fat and gain energy – through her own private health coaching practice, eat.simple.
If you are passionate about health and wellness and you want to help people like Erin for their clients every day, you should consider becoming a certified health coach yourself. In this special briefing event hosted by PHCI Co-Founder Mark Sisson, you will learn the three simple steps to building a successful health coaching business in a maximum of 6 months.
If you’d like to add an avatar to all of your comments, click here!