Defining Untimely Ejaculation
Premature ejaculation (also called rapid ejaculation / early ejaculation) is the most common of all sexual dysfunction. It affects one in three men. And while it is incredibly common, it is not discussed much, there is a lot of shame and an enormous amount of misunderstanding.
Let’s start with definitions. What is rapid ejaculation? The current medical definition is when the man ejaculates earlier than he wants and it causes distress for him or his partner – that is rapid ejaculation. That seems like a pretty good definition. The definition remains firm with the people involved in ejaculation. If the man or his partner says it’s a problem, then it’s a problem.
Here at MAZE Health we use a slightly different definition. We look at the entire experience rather than counting minutes or seconds. If during sex the man is focused on preventing ejaculation instead of having fun and connecting, we will likely treat him for premature ejaculation.
The difference between the two definitions is important. The first focuses on how long a man lives before ejaculating. The second definition focuses on the man’s experience of sex. As a sex medicine specialist, I am much more concerned about the sexual experience and the emotions that come with it than about the second hand on the watch.
As you may have noticed, both definitions are very subjective. There is no defined length of time that the traffic has to last. Average traffic in America lasts 3-5 minutes. But average doesn’t mean normal – and less (or more) than average doesn’t mean abnormal!
Most men’s idea of how long intercourse should last is usually based on porn! Porn is wrong. Porn isn’t real sex. There is nothing normal about porn (see my blog on porn!). Pornography is a production company’s idea of how to make money filming sex scenes between actors. The length of traffic we see in porn is not based on real life!
If you want to know how long the traffic should be, consult your partner. I had a husband and wife in a meeting a few months ago. He was frustrated not to take long enough (it took 10 minutes!). I asked him how long he was going to last. What would be a good length? He had no idea. I asked him how long his wife wanted to have sex. He never asked her. I said, “Ask her now!”
She turned to him and said, “Honestly, honey, 3-4 minutes is more than enough! It just doesn’t do that much for me. There are tons of other things that I like better. “He was amazed! He said he tried to hold out longer because he thought she would like it – and it was the opposite! Everyone is different now. But everyone has to communicate through sex!
So when it comes to ejaculating quickly, we can definitely help you last longer. But how long do you really want to last? Talk to your partner and then to us! Contact us for a free telephone consultation.