One of the hosts handed out T-shirts with Pee Wee phrases. One said, “I know what you are, but what am I?” Another had “Take a picture. It will take longer.” I saw one who said, “Large Marge sent me.”
The next poker game I participated in was in Pacific Beach. A guy I met at a previous party invited me over. It turned out to be another Texas Hold’em game. I groaned, but this was only a $ 5 buy-in.
And there were some interesting conversations. One man complained that he had used up his two-week free membership to 24 Hour Fitness and was now bugged about purchasing a membership. One of them was chewing on nachos that he had bought from Alberto the night before. He offered us something, but leftover nachos just didn’t sound appetizing. When he burped, the guy next to him said, “That might sound gross, but the burp smelled good.”
Posted by Josh Board on June 30, 2005 | Read the whole article
As the cops were emptying the beer cans, a Vietnamese man who had picked up our empty aluminum cans a few times before came back and waited patiently for his high score. Someone said, “Is it even worth it for him? That’s 80 cents?”
Bocci beach blanket
I heard about a beach party from my friend Bonnie. It was in Ocean Beach, the same day as the street fair. Trying to find a parking space at 2pm sucks. I made my way to the beach with Bonnie and her husband Randy.
We set up our chairs on the barrel. I heard someone say, “Damn it, that’s a good idea.”
I made fun of the fact that Bonnie’s second toe was bigger than her big toe. A man heard this and showed us his feet. His second toe appeared to be about an inch longer than his big toe. The man’s wife said: “My mother always said, that means you are smart.” I said, “She should have just said to keep those mutated toes covered.” Bonnie hit me on the arm.
Posted by Josh Board on July 7, 2005 | Read the whole article
The girls at the party all said they swallow the jell-o without chewing it. One said, “It’s such a small amount, why chew it?”
I got invited to a couple of parties on July 4th, but the first call I got was for a party in Alpine and I didn’t want to go back to San Diego for the others. I stayed there all night. When Megan called to invite me over, she said, “I met you at a party a year and a half ago. Do you remember the party where everyone in the rooms was playing volleyball and the cops came?”
I remembered one girl passed out and she was the volleyball net. I said, “Were you the net?” She laughed and said, “No. I was the one who spoke to the police.”
Posted by Josh Board on July 14, 2005 | Read the whole article
“Once the back quarter fell on the beach when I was removing the food for 150 people. Once it hits the sand, you can’t just wipe it off.”
10-4, pork for grilling
I was invited to a roast pork whose website is dedicated to the event. Bruce Dahl’s website has stories from previous parties he’s had every year for the past 14 years. During his first party, the police were called to examine the bones that were thrown in the trash. The bones landed on Crown Point Beach the next day. Dahl said to me, “We’re tidying everything up. Either seagulls took them out of the trash or they’re temporary. I once saw a bird pull away a five pound bag of tortilla chips … It wouldn’t have been the bones a problem for them. “The police concluded that it was human bones and the story was on the news for several days.
Posted by Josh Board on July 21, 2005 | Read the whole article
“Hey, he’s going to college. I need to get kisses from him while I still can.”
In June I received a call about Patrick Henry High’s graduation night event at Party Pals in the Sorrento Valley, not far from where I live. I had three other parties that night (tough life, right?) But the closing event didn’t start until 11pm. Around 1:30 am, I came to Party Pals
A couple started kissing by the fire. I later saw her kissing on one of the climbing courses. I asked them if they were uncomfortable being around with their teachers and parents. The guy said, “No way, man. Maybe you can watch me and learn a few things.” His girlfriend laughed and said, “Hey, he’s going to college. I need to get kisses from him while I still can.”
Posted by Josh Board on Aug 4, 2005 | Read the whole article
A couple talked about a kitten that came into their home and their dog killed it. They took their dog to an animal psychiatrist to make sure no child is killed.
Must love dogs
Last month, Norma and Joe from Rancho Bernardo had a luau-themed party for their dog’s first birthday. I’m not sure if that meant dog years. I’m not sure the dog realized that this event was for him. It never stopped yapping. This party was scheduled from 4pm to midnight. When I got there at 4 a.m. there weren’t many people and Norma and Joe set up tents and tiki torches.
I took a glass of wine and joined the few people who were there. A little girl was offered five dollars to eat dog biscuit. She was ready, but they couldn’t find one. One man said, “It has to be a big one, not one of those tiny cookies.” One guest brought liver treats for the dog, but I don’t think those were part of the bet.
Posted by Josh Board on August 18, 2005 | Read the whole article
“Hey, wait a second. Are you the reader type?”
Pee Wee and me
“Julia” was always one of my favorite Beatles ballads. Now it would be one of my favorite party people. She called to invite me to her Pee Wee Herman party. I refrained from joking about him at the movies and listened as she explained that her complex in Pacific Beach often hosts themed parties. She said, “The last one was Hulk Hogan. That was fun. Before that it was a caddyshack / country club theme. ”When I drove to Chalcedony I wasn’t surprised how hard it was to park. This was PB on a Saturday night. Little did I know, however, that every other house would have a party.
January 6, 2005 | Read the whole article
“Are you that damn reporter? You’re leaving this party now!”
The fog thickens
When I made my way to the kitchen, after a total of 12 minutes I saw a man who was talking to two women. He was clearly drunk and his body swayed as he spoke aloud. I put my hand on his shoulder and said to the girls, “It looks like he drank too much.” He grabbed my hand and said, “What are you saying? Are you that damn reporter? You’re leaving this party now!” Then he grabbed my arms and pushed me to the door. The women begged him to calm down. He looked back and said, “This guy is going to write all this crap about us. Fuck it! I’ll get rid of him.” Since I wasn’t moving and he was trying to move me, he said, “Don’t make this harder man. I can take you out casually or we can do it the hard way.”
January 13, 2005 | Read the whole article
Anne is writing a book about tuna fishermen. I was just grateful that she didn’t spend her time at the party and told me all about the book.
Lost (and found) in translation
I turned up at Anne’s brother’s in Point Loma. She told me that there are many Portuguese tuna fishermen living in this area. Her father is a retired fisherman, but she has a brother in the business. She is writing a book about tuna fishermen. I was just grateful that she didn’t spend her time at the party and told me all about the book. So often at parties, people tell me about a novel, CD, or script that they are working on. Sometimes it’s interesting, but when people spend an hour telling you details about something they didn’t initially care about, you can start nodding. (Thanks for not doing this, Anne; I can’t wait for the book.)
January 20, 2005 | Read the whole article
They told me that I was in Balboa Park walking around holding hands and seeing men driving around. I told them that Bruce Springsteen wrote a song called “Balboa Park” about the boys who work as prostitutes there.
Waiting for the ball to fall
As New Years Eve rolled around I was surprised not to be inundated with party invitations. I got one from a woman named Sally I knew when I was young. Then on December 31st I got a call from my friend Roxanne. She had a party that started at 9:00 p.m. Since the forecast was for rain, I didn’t want to drive from Del Mar to Santee in pouring rain. I told Rox I couldn’t make it and made it difficult for her to invite me at the last minute (and I wonder if I hadn’t written this column, would she have invited me at all?). When I showed up at Sally’s, she gave me a tour of her house. When I mentioned something about Santee, she told me that they actually live in Fletcher Hills.
January 27, 2005 | Read the whole article
“Fernando has the best parties. He owns a number of bars in TJ and he has a lot of friends.”
I found my notes on parties I went to in December that I forgot to write about. I figured when I wrote about New Years Eve I was done with 2004. But this party night was interesting as it took me to Tijuana from the college area. Robert, who invited me to his company’s vacation meeting (he works for Sprint), couldn’t have been nicer. The parking was awful and he told me to park in his place in the apartment complex. When I entered he gave me a cigar. He had read that I enjoyed it and was kind enough to get me one. When I looked at the band around them, I laughed. It said “Amish cigar.” Robert said, “We went to Pennsylvania and it was weird. My mom got freaked out by the Amish people. They sell all of these things.”
February 3, 2005 | Read the whole article
Tony had his friend’s name, birthday, and place of death tattooed on his arm in large letters. He said, “Yes, talk about wearing your heart on your sleeve.”
war and peace
The evening after attending a party, I was invited to another party hosted by Mike, one of the DJs. It was in a house in the Del Cerro area near SDSU. Mike lives in this place with his brother John, who is a teacher at a performing arts school. If you’re heading to a DJ / bassist’s house for a party, don’t expect a huge two story hilltop house overlooking the city.
I don’t usually ask people how they can afford houses like this, but since Mike goes to SDSU and plays bass in a band and John lives on a teacher’s wages, I needed to know how they got this place with a view of the town . John said, “My father is a lawyer and works for the woman who owns the place.”
March 31, 2005 | Read the whole article