These Easy Processes Will Overcome The Feeling Of Disgrace And Self-Loathing
We all struggle with feelings of shame at some point in our lives. Yes, the feeling of shame can be extremely terrible and painful, and even lead to high levels of self-loathing and internal conflict.
In extreme cases, feeling shame makes it difficult for you to seek help from others, and even when they try to offer some, you feel unworthy to enjoy such love and affection from them.
In fact, feelings of shame and self-hatred can greatly affect or affect your self development and progress in life.
Signs of shame and self-loathing
Recognizing the signs of toxic shame is the first and best way to overcome shame in your life. Here are some indicators that suggest you are leading a life of shame
- A general feeling of low self-esteem
- Imposter Syndrome (“If people really knew who I am, they would hate me.”)
- Dysfunctional and unstable relationships with others
- No connection or fear of connecting with others
- Constant self-criticism
- Angry or defensive behavior
- Feelings of irrational guilt for things that are not your fault
- A chronic feeling of worthlessness
- Self sabotage
- Chronic and compulsive people please
- To settle for less than you really want, either in your relationship or in your career, etc.
- General distrust and distrust of others
- Shame fear (the chronic fear of being ashamed or ashamed)
Practical Steps to Overcoming Shame and Self-Hate
- Identify your shame triggers
While it can be a little tricky at first to pinpoint what triggers your shame, it is easy to pin down your shame triggers once you find yourself feeling any of the above signs of shame.
To identify your shame triggers, you may need to think back to what suddenly happened, making you feel the way you are feeling. In most cases, it may be what others have said to you that made you vulnerable or some shameful event that you got caught in.
Once you can reference one of these triggers, you can reference a specific shame trigger and you can easily learn how to manage such triggers with some healthy responses.
- Avoid shame enhancers
Words from those around you can serve as a great shame, hurting or belittling you.
It can also be your parents, friends, spouse, or partner who add to the sense of shame in you.
If you are in a relationship with people who heighten your feelings of shame, the choice for an emotionally healthy relationship is yours, and you have the right to surround yourself with people who are lovable and understanding.
However, if your shame enhancer is your spouse, consider a joint counseling session so that your partner can know and understand the reasons for your feelings of shame so that they can create boundaries to contain subsequent events.
- Embrace self-compassion
Feeling shame is closely related to self-loathing, and this makes it very difficult for you to be loving and kind to yourself.
To overcome feelings of shame, treat and talk to yourself with love and kindness, and always reaffirm within yourself that you value and love yourself.
Practice this until your thoughts and feelings about yourself change to self-compassion and love.
Studies show that self-compassion leads to the release of oxytocin hormone, which is responsible for feelings of security, trust, calm, connection with others, and emotional stability.
- Free yourself from shameful tensions in your body.
Feeling shame comes with a lot of tension that can affect your coordination and productivity. You can release any shameful tension by;
- Spend some time with your pet
- Laugh more often
- Take a walk at a very comfortable pace.
- Try some meditation
- to do yoga
- Listen to cool and refreshing music.
- Get a massage
- Take a warm shower
- Take a refreshing drink of water.
- Accept love, kindness and seek help.
It is very common that when immersed in feelings of shame, you will feel unworthy of the help, love, and kindness of others.
In most cases, feeling shame can make you feel like a charlatan receiving love and kindness from others. Well, it shouldn’t be.
Accepting love and kindness from others and seeing their actions from the perspective of love and concern is a great way to grow out of your web of shame.
Feeling shame is a common emotional trauma for many people. The feeling of shame is closely related to self-loathing, and both of them can settle for feelings of low self-esteem, constant self-criticism, self-sabotage, and even less than what you deserve.
Some simple exercises to curb shame include practicing self-compassion, accepting love and kindness from others, recognizing shame triggers, and avoiding shame intensifiers.